Sanja Marušić

Here I go once again, trying to fix something
I didn’t break, “Why?” you keep asking me,
I can’t give answers to questions that
don’t have any,
and even if they did, you wouldn’t accept them.

Here I go once again, trying to change your mind
when I know you won’t, I can’t be happy unless
you are too and you love being miserable,
what am I to do? “Let’s talk!” I keep shouting
but you have nothing to fight for anymore.

Here I go once again, waiting all day for a simple
yes or no, “Maybe” is all you say,
Please tell me if I should pack my bags or should I
try my best for you once again?
I can’t keep going in circles like this, I’m losing myself.

“Let me go,” is what I keep telling you,
but you don’t want to, you’re selfish and you’re scared,
I understand, I understand, but I’m worn out and afraid,
I can’t stand being in the wrong every time you make a mistake.
I have to stand up for myself this time.

“Goodbye,” is all I wrote in a note
and taped it to our door,
“Whatever you want,” is what you said
in the brief voicemail,
and “This is for the best,” I told myself
and to you
and all our friends, “we weren’t compatible anyway.”

But we both know we meant “forever” when we said it back then.
Who knew forever had an expiration date? TC mark

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