A man who managed to get a ticket for this year’s Tomorrowland festival apparently thinks he is some sort of superhero.
Robert Gordon, a twenty year old music student from Kent, England, has reportedly developed a heightened sense of smugness and air of superiority since getting his hands on the ticket.
Wunderground spoke to Mr Gordon earlier, “I worked really hard to get my hands on a Tomorrowland ticket. First off, I asked my mate Charlie if he wanted to go, his parents are rich and he has a really good internet connection so I knew he’d be able to book the tickets. Then I had to ring Charlie the night before they went on sail and remind him to tell his mum she had to get up early the next day to book them. So I think I deserve to be a little priggish about having one.”
“My life has really changed since I got the ticket,” revealed Gordon, known locally as a “floppy haired twat”. “The best thing about it is the fact that I can constantly remind my friends, who don’t have one, that I do have one. It kind of feels like I have superpowers because one mention of my Tomorrowland ticket and I can shut anyone up. It’s amazing and a constant reminder, to everyone else, of how fucking awesome I am.”
According to Matthew O’Reilly, an associate of Mr Gordon, having a Tomorrowland ticket is not as big a deal as his friend thinks it is.
“I couldn’t give a shit if that spastic has a Tomorrowland ticket,” claimed O’Reilly. “He’s done nothing but talk about it for the last two months and it’s getting pretty boring at this stage. If I wanted to watch a lot of overpaid gimps prance around on stage pretending to play music I’d watch old episodes of Top of the Pops, not spend a fortune going to the most overrated festival on the planet.”
“He thinks people care but no one gives a fuck, it’s not like he has a ticket to Burning Man or Glasto. It’s Tomorrowland for fuck sake. Get a grip.”
Unconfirmed reports suggest that Mr Gordon’s ticket to Tomorrowland has been cast into jeopardy after Charlie’s mother discovered the pair smoking hash and threatened to tear the tickets up, more on this as we get it.