A man who claimed that Ibiza was exactly like it used to be has been officially declared mental.

Frank Millar, a fifty five year old structural engineer, made the audacious claim during a recent trip to the party island.

“I’ve been coming to Ibiza at least once a year for the last twenty five years and I can safely say that it’s exactly like it used to be,” claimed Millar during a catch up with Wunderground earlier today. “Sure, the clubs might be a bit bigger and the tits and teeth are probably a bit faker but overall everything’s exactly the same as it’s always been.”

“I’m sick of hearing people say things like “it’s not what it used to be” or “the island’s lost its magic”. Fuck off, throw a few vodka and Redbulls and a handful of pills down your throat and tell me the magic’s gone. It’s absolute nonsense.”

According to expat John Tompkins, Mr Millar is “full of shit” and a “total mental”.

“What the fuck is that bloke talking about?” asked a flummoxed Tompkins. “I’ve been living here since the early 90’s and the island has completely changed in that time. The atmosphere, the culture, the people, the clubs, the currency, all changed. He’s either done way too many drugs or he’s a bit of a div but, whichever it is, he’s definitely wrong.”

“Even people who only came for the first time last year say the place isn’t what it used to be. Anyone who thinks it hasn’t changed is a total fucking mental and needs locking up.”

Since the time of going to print, Mr Millar has undergone a complete psychiatric assessment and doctors have confirmed that he is indeed mental, making him just the same as the majority of other people in Ibiza.






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