It has emerged that a girl talking loudly about knowing Jamie Jones in a bid to impress the people around her has been exposed as a liar.
Twenty four year old media studies student Chelsea Simmonds made the claim in Gatwick airport’s Weatherspoons before boarding a flight to Ibiza, boasting about her long standing friendship with the thirty five year old techno DJ, claiming “they’ve been tight for years” and “she was there from his early days”.
“This girl was a proper knob,” moaned Jimmy Nicholls, who was with a group of mates on the same flight. “She was knocking back her gin and slimline tonics, chatting at a ridiculously high volume, making sure everybody in the pub could hear her. It was all the typical shit, I know him, I know her, I get guest list here, I get VIP there. I’ve never witnessed such huge attention seeking in my whole life. We were praying she wasn’t on our flight but low and behold the cunt was sat directly behind me.”
Originally from Trevescan, Cornwall, Chelsea, who has been residing in East London for three years and believes it is now her right to refer to people from Kent and Essex as “outsiders” and “tourists”, is understood to have got her knickers in a twist having elaborated on a story in which she actually met Seth Troxler, but has ever-since been under the impression it was Jamie Jones, ultimately being exposed as a bull shitter of the highest order.
“I overheard her banging on about how Jamie and the Visionquest crew used her flat for their after parties,” continued Jimmy. “That was when I knew she was chatting bollocks. I pulled her up on the fact Jamie Jones was never part of Visionquest and it was a different dude with a bit of a ‘fro going on, but she wouldn’t have any of it, saying I’m the one who doesn’t know what I’m talking about and if I happen to see Jamie or Seth play, I will definitely see her in the DJ booth with one of them. Fucking groupies are all the same.”
Wunderground managed to get a quick word with Chelsea upon arriving in Ibiza, “Don’t listen to that idiot from the flight, I swear, I know Jamie Jones,” raged Chelsea. “I would WhatsApp him right now to prove you all wrong, but I don’t want to turn on my data roaming.”