by The Galway Player
Welcome to the wonderful world of the Galway Player, Ireland’s top male dating expert. I’m here to tell it like it is, using my observations and knowledge to educate and inform. I can tell you the ugly truth about dating so you avoid scoring ugly birds.
Most embrace the potential of the New Year with the hopeless optimism of a deluded, diabolical talent show contestant. Sadly by now, most of you have given up on your feeble attempts at self improvement, which – lets be honest girls of Galway – is badly needed. If Christmas has taught me anything it’s that a little effort can go a long way ladies: properly applied makeup, more revealing dresses and everybody wins!
One of the main resolutions many lonely hearts will make is to ensure that, before Santa Clause makes his merry way again, they will find love. While I would rather jump off Blackrock during the recent storms, I can see the merits of having a regular port-of-call during those bleak, listless winter nights, some one to make you sandwiches and all the other stuff women are good at. An accommodating companion to tide you over to the summer is fine in my book, but don’t just pick someone for the sake of it, don’t fall into the trap that causes many people to end up with mingers.
We all know rising tide raise all ships (and destroy cars and roads), well this is particularly true when it comes to the world of dating. An average bird surrounded by absolute hounds will look more attractive than she actually is. Many guys are so happy to have someone finally return a flicker of interest that they latch on to it and dive into a relationship before they examine the alternatives It’s the Pippa Middeltons Arse effect, everyone was raving about Kate till we saw that ass.
The Beautiful South should really change the lyrics of their famed hit to:
“And when dull and dutiful are multiple,
They become so blonde and beautiful.”
When your nights out are as predictable as the jokes in Mrs Browns Boys, then you need to re-examine your approach. If you go to the same pub with the same people every weekend, drink the same drink and wonder why you never meet anyone, cop on. Eventually you’ll end up dating the female equivalent of Rich Tea biscuits, but that you’ve battled to convince yourself is the one, sure your granny will love her but she lacks any real appeal.
January is a great time to make changes in your life: exercise, diet, a new wardrobe, the list is endless. However, so is a night in with a bird you have jumped into a relationship with. Dodgy Christmas presents are easy to return and forget about, dodgy girlfriends, not so much.
And remember folks, don’t hate the Galway Player…… hate the Galway Game.